Kids say the darndest things. Cole came out with this gem the other day after I finished explaining to him that I’m just one person and therefore can only do one thing at a time. He stared back at me as if I had just said the most hysterical joke he had heard all day and giggled, “You’re not a person, you’re a mommy!”
I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time. It’s an adorable observation because in truth our kids should only think of us as their moms and dads, and not as individuals, until later on down the road. On the other hand, Cole inadvertently hit a bit of a sore spot for me. It’s easy to get lost in parenthood, or anything for that matter, and forget to keep in touch with the things that make us feel like a real person. Describing a person as real might seem a little weird. Like, aren’t we all real? I don’t mean real in the physical sense; I mean real in the spiritual sense.
Last month I challenged myself to start setting aside some time to reconnect with myself. My journey to rediscover the person outside of the mommy has led me to writing, running, a meditation group, and most importantly (for me) a yoga studio. I’ve always been able to count on yoga to bring me to a happy state of being, but I’d forgotten how important it was to me. Unrolling my mat was like reconnecting with a dear, old friend. Apparently being a human pretzel is all it takes to snap me back to life!
Maybe there is something you’ve lost touch with too. For a moment, think about all of the roles, responsibilities, lists, noise and clutter that we face throughout the day. Now think about doing that thing that lights a fire in your belly and makes you feel good and balanced. The thing that makes you feel like you’re putting some sort of good energy out into the world. Did something come to mind? I bet if we all set a little time aside each week to do something that makes us happy, really happy, then our other roles and responsibilities would become more manageable and enjoyable.
Last night at a restaurant a simple trip to the restroom turned into my son’s worst nightmare. Everything was fine until an unexpected, deep roar made him leap off of the toilet in fear. Clearly, the person who invented automatic flush sensors was not a parent of a young child.
We could not get him back on that toilet. We tried to explain the blinking red light and what the sensor means. I even straddled the toilet myself to block the sensor so he could sit in front of me and finish his business. Yes, I did that. When nothing worked to relieve his flush anxiety, Cole, his full bladder and me left the stall. As we were washing our hands another patron came into the restroom and Cole felt it was his civic duty to warn them of what lies beyond those doors. “Don’t go in there. It’s scaaaary.” He explained.
Thankfully, there were no accidents and he waited until we were home to use the bathroom. I can’t imagine we are alone on this one. I mean, if NPR picks it up, it has to be a big deal: Auto-Flush Toilets Terrifying Kids. Darn you, auto-flush.
When I was little, I used to think people in their thirties were old. Especially my parents. However, I have distinct memories of Dad and Mom in their thirties doing things like lighting fireworks off between their legs (Dad) and teaching step aerobics classes (Mom). These aren’t things that old people do! I’m not planning on doing either of those any time soon, but I have been thinking a lot about what adventures the next decade will bring.
In four words I can sum up my twenties: college, jobs, husband, son. Short words that represent major milestones. I always felt like I was in a rush to check things off life’s to-do list. In the back of my mind I was always thinking, “Okay, what’s next?” All of the ups and downs, the people that have come in and out of my life, the quiet moments and the loud ones, have led me down a path to discovering who I am. And although we all have our good days and bad days, I’m pretty damn happy where I’ve landed. Yesterday I was 29.
Today I am 30. My intention is to slow down and do more of what I love with the people I love. One of the benefits of being a stay at home mom is that I get to choreograph goofy dances and sing silly songs all the time. I get to discover the inner kid that was buried under years of “Okay, what’s next?” I want to cook delicious meals and take more time to chew my food. I want to see family and friends more often and focus less on the things and people that create negative energy. I want to take risks and try new things. Not because I think it will get me ahead or create some major change, but because it just feels good.
I don’t mean to sound sappy and everyone’s journey is a personal one. I just hope that maybe sharing how I feel about turning thirty might spark a nerve somewhere out there. That maybe we can all shift our focus just a little from where we think we should be to where we are right now. That a small change like that might cause a ripple in our hearts and open us up to finding a little more inner peace. Because that’s where peace lives! It’s not around the corner…it’s in all of us. Right here and right now.
Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day! I’ll be spending the day with this little man and loving every minute! (Well…except the minutes that he’s acting like a crazy toddler…) So I’ll be enjoying some of the day, haha!
We had Cole’s two year check up today at Elliot Pediatrics in Londonderry. Sometimes I wonder whether I should change pediatricians, because there are a lot of practices that are closer to us. But then Dr. Hajduk’s awesomeness reels me right back in and makes me realize the extra ten minutes in the car is totally worth it.
When you have a baby who is born below the 1st percentile in weight, or if your child has any weight gain issues, you tend to be a bit of a numbers freak. Even after two years of happy and healthy check ups, I still get anxious when Cole is sitting on the scale. Thankfully, his numbers place him in the 35th percentile for both weight and height….not that I’m counting 🙂
The biggest news of the day? I took the pacifier away. I promised myself (and my husband) that when Cole turned two, the binky would bounce.
It was time…
I won’t go through all the gory details, but he was reeeeally angry that he didn’t have that binky to help him fall asleep at naptime. He cried. He whipped himself over his crib railing and onto the floor (ouch). His lovey stuffed animal, Piglet, took a few punches for the cause, but he did fall asleep after about 20 minutes of fussing. I felt so bad that I snuck into his room after he fell asleep, picked him up out of his crib, and rocked him for 20 minutes while he slept in my arms.
Thankfully, he still loved me when he woke up from his nap a couple of hours later. We’ll see how tonight goes. Bedtime is right about….NOW! Wish us luck and a binky-less night.
Let’s face it. Sometimes we are so focused on our kids that we forget about the super cool couples that created these little humans. If you are like my husband and me, you might find yourselves on a Sunday afternoon … Continue reading →